Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to study for an important test but I could barely focus because my roommate had his music blasting at full volume. Since we get along well, I decided to put up with it. I just found out he forgot to turn it off and left over 6 hours ago. FML
Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, I had to politely request that my floormate not blast heavy metal music at 4 a.m. His response? "It’s the weekend," followed by him slamming the door in my face and turning the music up. I work weekends. FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
TourettesGuyFTW 26
It sounds like she was about to reach Nirvana.
soulebelius 17
So it was scream metal, then?
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Comments (116)
perdix 31
So, he was just contracting a case of "Cat Scratch Fever" instead catching it and hearing it simultaneously.
PrincessPesa 20
Ted Nugent's music isn't metal, but his attitude certainly ******* is! The guy is a madman.
perdix 31
#71, really? I heard it at the hockey game last night. Sounded metallic to me. Why isn't it?
ironichalibut 24
I didn't know thy still have co-ed dorms. I thought they got rid of them for nearly this exact reason. Could she at least hit all the high notes?
SWC_Penguin 17
At most schools you're allowed to have sex with people who aren't your roommate. What school did you go to? O_o
ironichalibut 24
19- That wasn't my point, my point was that if he's in a dorm, he shouldn't have a girl or sex there at all. My thinking was that there are male and female dorms, and that logically females wouldn't be allowed in the male dorm, having sex loudly.
S182 15
You do realize that people break rules right?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
In my dorm you were allowed to have female guests but only up to certain times. Usually midnight was the cutoff. However this was barely enforced because the RA had to be informed by one of the dorm residents. The generally thinking of most of the males there was "why would I cockblock a fellow dude because won't he return the favor." No one is going to rat the other out. Our front desk was voluntary and manned once again by the residents. Once again no snitch policy was in place.
PerditaDessa 38
We not only have coed dorms at the university I attend but coed rooms. The one I was at before this one had coed dorms but male and female floors.
wilhelmsammi7309 5
My boyfriend stays at one that's coed with boy girl floors and I just have to check in at the front desk and I can stay the whole weekend
HowieDoIt 21
You cannot stop the metal!
Pleonasm 36
Pounding out aggression turns into obsession cannot kill the Battery Cannot kill the family Battery is found in me! Bat-ter-y!
olpally 33
That's a no win situation op. good luck.
perdix 31
Actually, there is a win situation. They could invite the OP in for a three-way. If he's really tired, he can always fall asleep on her chest. You've got to accentuate the positive!
Sandman366 6
Or OP could like listening. Either way, the neighbors win.
olpally 33
Oh perdix, where there's a will there's a way, right? You always find it, don't you? Lol. I'm pretty sure op wants to just sleep. If he wants a three way, join the lonely island group. Lmao.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
I guess you didn't see that cumming huh?
pussystank 18
Damn that is what you call a pun.
ToastedHamburger 11
You should have gone back and told him to turn the music back on :)
outoftown 27
Or his girlfriend down.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Metal is always good in my opinion. You'd rather have the dude blast Bieber or something? Nah, play Ride The Lightning while she's, well, riding the lightning ;)
incendiaaa 23
you're quite obviously a Metallica fan. brilliant.
Sugarita 7
Hahahahahaha... OMG that's so uncalled for
Yunhee_fml 16
Ask him to turn her off.
laurenlovesjb 20
The benefit of paper thin walls:)