Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spoken to by my boss about an argument I had gotten into with my co-worker, saying I needed to be "respectful of others' beliefs" and less "close-minded." The argument was over whether or not the Earth was flat. FML
Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML
Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, my boss chewed me out for leaving a work function early. I explained it was to avoid a former co-worker I constantly fought with. The boss revealed he purposely invited that former co-worker, hoping our fight would provide entertainment. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
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Top comments
Naitras 15
should have let them fight. it would have been entertaining
Jimboom 12
YDI for trying to keep the peace. Don't you know the peacekeepers are always the ones to get screwed over! Next time just let them have it out, then record it on your phone and upload it to Yootoob for our entertainment value. ;-)
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Comments (104)
victoriabain_fml 0
Ice cream sandwich all the way!
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Orange Creamsicle.
brianjman14 23
Orange creamsicle obviously...
SuperKnuckels 6
you must be white cause meditating at work where thing s are happening really isnt meditating. ydi.
lolita88_fml 27
Tallied it! 15 to the orange creamsicle and 21 to the ice cream sandwich! ICE CREAM SANDWICH WIIIIIIINS! :3
ilcap 12
Ice cream sandwich
91hayek 31
I know its late but ice cream sandwich for life.
amygood 5
Everyone knows that a Nutty Buddy trumps both.
amygood 5
Everyone knows that Nutty Buddy trumps both.