Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was spoken to by my boss about an argument I had gotten into with my co-worker, saying I needed to be "respectful of others' beliefs" and less "close-minded." The argument was over whether or not the Earth was flat. FML
Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML
Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML
Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML
Today, my boss chewed me out for leaving a work function early. I explained it was to avoid a former co-worker I constantly fought with. The boss revealed he purposely invited that former co-worker, hoping our fight would provide entertainment. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
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Top comments
Naitras 15
should have let them fight. it would have been entertaining
Jimboom 12
YDI for trying to keep the peace. Don't you know the peacekeepers are always the ones to get screwed over! Next time just let them have it out, then record it on your phone and upload it to Yootoob for our entertainment value. ;-)
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Comments (104)
marinus_fml 20
EVERYONE JUST CALM THE **** DOWN! It's alright, asshole over here (OP) broke up the non existent fight, and wasted company time. have you not seen "Never back down"? "every dog has his day, and every man has his fight" now why would you want to prevent this day?
Kolden 11
lol awesome
WhiteZoneRedZone 6
Tomorrow it will be Haagen Dazs vs Ben and Jerry's. Then fists will really start to fly.
peanuts363 12
**** you! Ben and jerry's will never have a comparison! NEVER! I should beat the shit out of you for suggesting it!
RedPillSucks 33
Meh. Hagen Daz tastes about as real as it's name. It's Ben and Gerry's if you want real ice cream.
nachobiznez 0
Coldstone is better than both. :-p
mintcar 10
BLUEBUNNY!!!!!
three3_fml 2
That's a tuff one, major debate
oldenuff2party 3
*sigh* arent we all just wasting time...
McMan 23
I'm wondering what these assholes will do for a Klondike bar...
duckhunter009 0
ontario still sucks
McMan 23
Duckhunter, I clearly won last time without much effort, now it's just weird how you're replying to my comments... Also this flame war is about ice cream or are you illiterate GAWD.
duckhunter009 0
at least I don't live in London :)
Alleged_Cranium 7
Smooth vs Crunchy? Don't bring Nutella into this!
Jakellum 0
I agree. Youtube the video next time then post the link on fml
takemewithy0u 0
Next time, let them fight.
sgenfkshe 5
not your fault, butttttttt since this is fml, it is your fault.:P;):)
Hook85 0
little did he know that fist fight would have settled the debate between ice cream sandwich and orange creamsicle debate for all time...now we'll never get the answer...thanks a lot!