Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
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Top comments
RJB 0
Then tell them to go to the Nurse, who obviously can touch students anywhere the nurse sees fit,
RufusCade 7
"Hello, Mrs Doe! This is the principal at John's school. We had to cut his pants again since he couldn't unzip them himself..." "/.../" "No, you are well aware of that we are allowed to touch the children's hips, but not the behind or front." "/.../" "Yes, we used scissors." "/.../" "No, we didn't hurt him with the scissors as we accidentally did the last time." "/.../" "If you say so, Mrs. Doe, we can let him spend the day in his peed pants, but I want that in writing from you and your husband." I really think that the fear of pedophiles has taken monstrouous proportions. Why not tdress the kids up in Burqa to protect them from peeping?
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Comments (117)
RJB 0
Then tell them to go to the Nurse, who obviously can touch students anywhere the nurse sees fit,
unfortunate_13 5
if a kid needs to pee, it needs to pee. it doesn't have the time to walk all the way to the nurse
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
I love how you refer to the kid as "it".
_anonymoose_ 0
Besides, not all schools have nurses.
DameGreyWulf 1
Well, Robin, though not proper, it's easier to type "it" than "he/she" or "(s)he." Not trying to dehumanize, as it is a gender-neutral term, just being lazy. Anyway... OP, you should have just done it. Poor kid.
arienh4 0
That's usually when you use singular they.
DameGreyWulf 1
There is no such thing as a singular "they." It is grammatically incorrect. It is strictly colloquial.
kiki123_55555 0
my kindergarten teacher buttoned and zipped up pants all they time. oh god. pedo
kiki123_55555 0
my kindergarted tacher zipped and buttoned pants ALL the time to like everbody. oh god PEDO ALERT
ifmlftw 0
35 yes your right but all schools are required to have some sort of health person. my schools health person is the secratary.
TheDog6 24
That's how my hold school was.
vapors 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'd rather say its the kids FML. I bet you laugh about it, sadistic bastard! Mo-ahahaha!
i_is_a_tr00l 0
Kid deserves it for wearing pants with zippers.
wyld3fyr3 3
what? give em button fly pants? cause that would be kinda cool
boatkicker 5
Zippers are easier than buttons for kids.
lace_belmort 1
It's the parents' fault for sending the kid to school in pants he can't take off on his own. Let him go home in the pee-soaked pants and maybe they'll learn their lesson.
RandomCommenter 0
It's not his fault, so he shouldn't be punished just so the parents buy him different pants. Although they should find him different pants. Anyone make elastic only pants for kids he could wear?
stupiddumbblonde 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
funnniee:)
unscrupulous 13
Your comment really goes with your username.
weedking 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'd have pissed all over you.
ThUrSdAy13th 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
the kid was probably completely humiliated already. He had just peed his pants, and he had the courage on the trust to go and ask you, a teacher, for help. think of how embarrassing that must have been!! and instead of helping him, you told him there is nothing you could do and let him pee his pants again. if a kid asks you for help, you help them. you are their teacher. it is your responsibility and i hope he never trusts you with anything again
Chopperman_fml 0
OK, so you say she should have helped him. Then what? The school is slapped with a lawsuit from the kid's parents claiming that that OP touched their child inappropriately. The OP would be fired and never allowed to teach again, and be labeled as a pedophile. The kid's family, meanwhile, would take millions of local tax dollars for themselves and live in luxury. It seems like these ordinances are partly due to overprotective parents, and partly due to the hope that, with so many rules in place, SOMEONE will mess up and the "victim" will strike it rich. Yeah, it's a stupid ordinance. OP would do better to fight it by letting the kid's parents deal with a piss-covered child than by changing his pants. Make the voters hate the ordinance, don't make them think "oh, good thing that pedophile was caught!"
Sun_Kissed18 25
And have the kid go home and say "I PEED MY PANTS AND MRS. SMITH HELPED ME WITH MY ZIPPER" "She did what?" "She touched my pee pee because I asked her to help me!"??? Can you say lawsuit?
TheDog6 24
When I first read this I thought they kid zipped IT while he was zipping his pants and then urinated while crying in pain. You guys made it a heck of a clearer.
RufusCade 7
"Hello, Mrs Doe! This is the principal at John's school. We had to cut his pants again since he couldn't unzip them himself..." "/.../" "No, you are well aware of that we are allowed to touch the children's hips, but not the behind or front." "/.../" "Yes, we used scissors." "/.../" "No, we didn't hurt him with the scissors as we accidentally did the last time." "/.../" "If you say so, Mrs. Doe, we can let him spend the day in his peed pants, but I want that in writing from you and your husband." I really think that the fear of pedophiles has taken monstrouous proportions. Why not tdress the kids up in Burqa to protect them from peeping?
kiki123_55555 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
my kindergarted tacher zipped and buttoned pants ALL the time to like everbody. oh god PEDO ALERT
ShockwaveXIII 8
^ Promise me you'll never have kids...
Mismatchedmind 0
really, you'd be touching a zipper nothing more than that... sometimes I think Americans go a little overboard with some of their laws.
Sannekee 18
Just a little? Come on, this is way over the top!
xcarxcrashx 9
sadly I'm not surprised by this at all...
shitstorm28 11
we really do.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Something tells me this is a kid from high school...
perdix 31
Don't worry, you didn't fall for that old trick. I used to do it again and again at school to get the pretty teachers to touch my dick. (That's before all those "policies" showed up. Damn policies!) They said I had to stop because it was no longer cute. . . In my junior year. . . Of college.
betty66 3
hahaa oh you
febag 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
WOW! That happened to me once! I asked my teacher to unzip me and she didnt. I asked again and she sad that she could not have sex with me.. ******* grade 12.