Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop criticizing my son for his table manners. He said, "It's man things, you wouldn't understand." He acted surprised when I blew my top and told him to leave. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
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Top comments
mattjamt 16
Most of the major musicians have multiple trumpets to choose from, if you know what I'm saying.
perdix 31
I don't know what you are saying. Are you saying that major musicians have multiple penises? Or, they have multiple people to give ******** to? I doubt you have to be a major musician to find people to accept your ********.
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Comments (118)
reheheally 1
I hope he is now the "ex"!
muffinn16 10
That awkward moment when your name is Anna..
LolCandy 27
It's not so much the mentioning that you give him ********, it's the implication that you are good for nothing else that is offensive. I would have immediately punched my boyfriend for that (in the shoulder- it would be a knee-jerk reaction), but I also have a terrible temper.
TONY000 8
Oh someone give this man a medal!
Colonel_Fluffy 2
You need to marry that man
lotusenta 14
I'm sorry, but I really laughed at that one. that sounds actually like something my husband has said, only more to the tune of "wouldn't need to ask" rather than a presumed "at all"
lotusenta 14
also, I actually knew a guy in high school who could do that. quite interesting what teenagers would do 12 years ago for pilfered cigarettes.
madisynluna97 2
im sorry but that is just ******* awesome!
madisynluna97 2
im sorry but that is just ******* awesome!
darkfireflame 15
That's when you walk out and say "Well guess you're gonna learn huh? We're through."