Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop criticizing my son for his table manners. He said, "It's man things, you wouldn't understand." He acted surprised when I blew my top and told him to leave. FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
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Top comments
mattjamt 16
Most of the major musicians have multiple trumpets to choose from, if you know what I'm saying.
perdix 31
I don't know what you are saying. Are you saying that major musicians have multiple penises? Or, they have multiple people to give ******** to? I doubt you have to be a major musician to find people to accept your ********.
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Comments (118)
priest_of_war 10
You've got an awesome boyfriend and father
shadow2903 11
If he's young enough where he's just learning how to drive you are probably too young to be giving ******** so if he was being serious...SMH
GhostChickens 17
The driving age is above the age of consent in the UK. Also, OP's boyfriend could be 25 for all we know. You don't have to learn to drive as soon as you're legally allowed to.
Raesin 21
I'm 23 and I haven't learned to drive. Does that mean I'm not allowed to have sex yet?
Jareth_King 21
Haha! I'm pretty sure it is a joke though OP
SystemofaBlink41 27
This is so much funnier to me when I think of the conversation in a british accent.
EvilLittleMan 23
What was his mother's reaction? That's my question.
Reesienpiper 4
So Anna can play the trumpet and skin flute eh? Sounds like it could work.
hardcorepuppy 8
That guy needs more then a high five he needs an award for shutting his mum up like a champ. And yes there is such an award.
ghil15 8
like a boss good job dad lol
QU33NOFAWKWARD 16
Marry him.
kpc2424 13
I love this family already! A great sense of humor!!!