Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
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Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
Wow, how romantic... Dead pets and crying...
KBeatz 5
OP: "Now that I see you naked, it reminds me of my dead dog!" T_T
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Comments (214)
mandadarling 10
I would be worried about my sexuality and that of my guys if our "sexy shower" somehow ended up involving animals.. To each his own I suppose.
lissalove17 8
Somebody clearly did not understand the ********** reference. Forgive me if I spelled that wrong.
Ins0mau 20
82- "sexuality" is not JUST refer to sexual orientation.
Enslaved 38
Now would be a good time to get out of the tub and watch Stephen King's "Pet Sematary" and remember, "Sometimes dead is better."
nofearjenshere 12
I had a chance to watch that this weekend but I didn't take it. Now I wish I would have so I could understand your reference.
Enslaved 38
It's a great movie! Worth a rental. I felt the book dragged on a bit too much. :P My cat reminds me of "Church" which is the name of the crazy cat. Haha
Jiinxx 8
well, it was a bonding experience..
thiscrazything 1
Happy birthday, OP, your story made me laugh out loud. At least you shared some sentimental time together. Tomorrow's another day, you can always try again, without so much wine!
challan 19
Moral of the story... If you want sexy time, limit your wine. This story could ONLY have ended three ways Op... In the hospital, crying or limp dick.
Senseless_487 29
Um, well...happy birthday?
zandalee 20
Awwww!! I swear I had a similar experience with my husband of 22 years way back when we first starting getting close... (23 years ago) Loose your inhibitions in the early stages (if you are brave enough) and reap the rewards. Be fun to see how your next date goes! Happy birthday!!
charvisioku 22
Sounds like something me and my fiancee would end up doing xD
Crazberry 5
Aww :( Well at least you guys had a good time at the start. There will always be more birthdays OP :)
WolfLady 18
I'm sorry but YDI. Two whole bottles of wine? So one whole bottle each? Alcohol is a depressant! No wonder you ended up crying!