Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my mom that the bruises I have all over my body are not due to abuse, but because I'm into really rough sex. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, while swimming in a lake, I was feeling frisky so I dropped my swimsuit and went underwater and masturbated. After I came, I resurfaced and saw two girls giggling. With their goggles they'd seen the whole thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wisericky 12
You should have been like. "You should see the other guy"
roflstomp716 19
guess you were cruisin' for a bruisin'..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
HeartOfLead 24
I wonder what his side of the story is. "Yeah, I hit it pretty hard."
OnlyTheDarkest 17
For those of you commenting that OP "Did it wrong," perhaps her boyfriend was spanking her during sex? It does happen, you know. Depending upon how high up her back the bruises actually were, at least. Or someone likes the whips a bit too much.
C0mmanderKeen 9
Aaw that sucks xD I bruise very easily so I sometimes get small bruises on my legs and thighs after sex, but never so many and so big that people react to them :P
coryking06 4
maybe he's beating you while you're having sex and you just like it
DWynter 11
Were you laying on a pile of rocks or something? I mean, yeah, it sucks, but, I mean, if you're into that, I guess that's OK. Still . . .
sky_surfer79 6
Op. I once broke my wife's rib during forplay pushes her against the wall and the door handle was there. I understand
MzJnicc 10
Damn, r u having sex with Edward Cullen?!?!?! Lhh
love_me_electric 20
Couldn't you have just said you slipped and landed on your back? I'd rather lie than give my parents details about my sex life.
dont_have_one 3
Atleast you did a good job last night...
superman3212 8
no need to explain. let the drama take its course