Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker brings in meat for lunch every single day and eats it at his desk. I'm a vegan and the smell makes me feel sick for hours. The management won't reprimand him or move either of us. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML
Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Today, as usual I am allergic to onions (I fart A LOT if I eat any). It seems there were some in my breakfast sausage meal as I spent the day having major diarrhea; I'm shitting once an hour. That would be okay if I'd stayed home, but my sister asked me to pick her up at school. Guess who shit herself while driving… FML
Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML
Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
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Top comments
bfsd42 20
Shove a cork up his ass.
heavymetalman1 0
Sounds kinda shitty...sorry op
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Comments (127)
Wheredidgrungego 12
I must be the only kid in America who has never had Whataburger. I feel so deprived :(
steadycreepin 5
Well you need to get you some! Cause it's good!(:
AlwaysCracked 6
Don't worry. I didn't even knew it existed until I read this FML.
KhronicSmoke 2
Don't worry you ain't missing out on nothing, that foods crap
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I've never tried it, nor do I ever plan on it. So don't you worry 27, there will always be me.
Bently24 6
I have never tried on either, never even heard of one. They probley dont sell it on the west coast
wwiillmm 12
It's only in the south for the most part but it is really good.
FarSide 23
Quit being a drama queen. Shit, WhataBurger, and milkshakes do not equate.
xlord 27
Don't worry mother nature will beat the shit out of him... Literally
Jesus_Christ69 0
Get him some pills.
panvicka 16
dont worry, he is gonna get sick soon... and will be replaced with someone much worse lol, fyl
leadman1989 16
The simplest solution to this problem is to hire a homeless guy to break into the what-a-burger he frequents and replace the ingredients with lactose free ones. Or just pay the same homeless guy to beat him up and "deliver" a message!
lakebitch01 0
I just puked a little... I would have to say something : |
Scar_loves_you 0
Mmmmh whataburger
Skummy 0
Whataburger is just as nasty as white castle.
Mitch_Connor 11
You gotta play through the pain. Or in his case, eat. Another great kOTH quote.
THE_A_TEEN 28
The episode where bill joins championship eating. I remember it, i'll tell you what.
djgomezzi9331 0
What.
Mitch_Connor 11
Wrong. Try again.