Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, a 75 year-old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML
Today, I almost got in trouble at work, all because I inadvertently referred to a 19 year-old patient’s 47 year-old husband as her father. I didn’t know this until she got so upset that she threw a tantrum, filed a complaint against me, and requested another nurse. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
timtam24 0
bastard, how could you?
Suree 0
So now you've learned that you always state "around 29". ;-)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
timtam24 0
bastard, how could you?
neonokku 0
Her mascara and eyeliner must have been running
Reyo 2
That's when you say "Good, now to get your weight" before reaching for the radio.
Okie7123 0
At least he got her to stop sobbing to get information out of her. Original problem solved.
spiralstaircase 0
Today, I got into a car accident. I was hurt, and nobody could get information from me because I was sobbing. A paramedic radioed the hospital and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." I stopped crying, slapped him, and said, "I'm 28." FML
killerviral 0
shoulda said a guy in his mid 70's
Bl4ck_1c3 2
well they do live in the UK, 16 year olds look like 40 year olds out here...
TomPusslicker 21
lol thats when you open the back doors and roll her out. too bad you cant be more selective in your profession.
arsefuckingwater 0
i like turtles
saucey12 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol that is your fault for not knowing she was 28, shame on u
daaron 3
hell no I would cancel that and leave her ass
boone_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not an FML but sooooo funny
SkoomaKi 28
But it's on the site..
SomeonethingStup 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What do you expect? Shes a woman.
arcades_fire 0
So that makes it okay for a woman to slap someone?
crazytoaster 2
@ The OP Should've just said "Physical violence aye? Well no morphine for you bitch!" before dosing yourself up and laughing maniacally.
8trickster8 0
"Oh, looks like we'll only be able to save one of your legs now." "But my legs aren't hurt." *evil smile*
Say_hi 0
/win
Telcontar14 0
What a b****
Suree 0
So now you've learned that you always state "around 29". ;-)
bexox 0
Whatever. He's an EMT, not a makeup consultant. He doesn't have to give 2 ***** about this woman's vanity.
bluevayero 42
mid 20s is the correct answer. even if she has more years than yoda on her back
carbivore 10
His job is to estimate her age as it relates to medical history and possible illness/injury. An EMT in not required to cushion her ego. It was actually a pretty accurate guess.
rambles 0
bahahaha...very nice
greenltrn2003 0
bitch shouldnt look so old then. either way if you ever work the 'Guess your age' booth at the carnival....
igotabigego 0
hahahaha thats funny