Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML
Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, a 75 year-old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML
Today, I almost got in trouble at work, all because I inadvertently referred to a 19 year-old patient’s 47 year-old husband as her father. I didn’t know this until she got so upset that she threw a tantrum, filed a complaint against me, and requested another nurse. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML
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Top comments
timtam24 0
bastard, how could you?
Suree 0
So now you've learned that you always state "around 29". ;-)
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Comments (116)
FruityLoooons 8
You should've said, "Bitch, does it matter?" I mean, come on. She complains about her age when a car crash recently took place? The ****? And I agree with some others on here--if she stopped crying so abruptly just to reprimand you, then she obviously wanted some form of attention.
ILIEKGIRLS 5
because everyone knows the exact age of someone just by taking a glimpse at them.
headology 0
File a suit against her for physically assaulting you while in the line of duty! Now you can get some money out of it!
xclegend613 0
Should've let the dumb **** die right there
whatthefuckcunt 0
seconded, 100%. if she is with it enough to stop and slap him, she should of been helpful and answered the ******* questions
Jesster_King 0
The dumb bitch should have just told him. Women heres some shit you gotta get straight #1. Everyone ages, factors that speed this up are as follows a. smoking, solution = don't smoke b.stress, solution = get a less stressful job life #2. This weight BS, don't like you weight then lose some, got a unrealistic goal? get counciling to resolve your self image issues a. you eat junk food all the time or when your sad and don't exercise, you will get fat b. don't want to take the time to exercise, you will get fat.
CSM101 0
in other words, she really was around 30, and you were correct when you radio'd it in
Ninjaface 0
You should have responded, "Not anymore. The stress from the accident aged you eight years." And then readied the defibrillator for her panic attack.
Lady_Cop_89 0
I've totally been there...... it blows
Alphacide 0
Leave the bitch there, shes not worth the oxygen she consumes.
patho_geek 0
What a whiny, fake, hypochondriac. I don't like that lady. =]