Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
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Top comments
sarah2144 14
LOL. Was the dog cute?
EChan 1
He's probably slept with the dog longer than he's known you. So he's probably doing it out of habit. Neither FML or YDI.
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Comments (88)
prettykitty123 0
I snuggel with my puppy all the time
theonly5050 0
I like the " who the **** cares" comment
STAZ211 0
"gotta be a white guy" i laughed very hard at this. lmao
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh man, do you mean literally, OP? That's so wrong lol Hopefully he just mistook the dog for you.... if he did, then you probably oughtta shave just a little
mommmma 0
y r people saying she deserves it for being a *****...or you're a **** for sleeping with that guy...or u deserve it for thinkg its necessary to sleep in the same bed just because hes ur bf. IDIOTS. just because she has a bf doesnt make her a ****. and y wouldnt u sleep in bed with ur bf? douches lol. not an FML though
mattmadden 0
41- You're a *****. :) No but seriously I don't see why it's worth getting upset about. All the people who called her that were probably kidding anyways. If OP reads the comments and sees people calling her a ***** for sleeping with her boyfriend, I doubt she'll get upset. So why are you?
kremit 1
dog > you
ojosverdes26 6
^ Agreed. XD
Megadeth_fml 0
*********** FTW
Calaura9 0
I do NOT sleep with animals. Or with people who allow their pets in the bed with them. Beds are for humans. Not fleas and poop.
unfortunate_13 5
exactly! keeping animals in bed is disgusting.
genius_man16 1
If you train your pets well you won't have fleas and poop on your bed. But I guess you just suck at life.
Broken_wingedfox 0
i totally understand this one. until recently my boyfriend would always want the dog in bed and want to snuggle with him. He even let him on the bed during sex. so i told him it was either me or the dog who slept with him and he seemed to think i was a better choice over all.