Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says, "Oh, honey. I don't care… Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML
Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
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Top comments
johnny29 14
dad of the year :/
Brightbulb 40
Your dad could have probably handled that better, but at the same time it will hurt only for a little while and the world will continue spinning.
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Comments (46)
jelly_bennett 23
This dad joke has gone too far
dc2fresh 15
Im gunna get hate on this comment but your dad's kinda funny.
trucker2 33
Throat punch time, and put some ass behind it.
AnicaWoW 14
That's revolting. Sorry about the breakup though :(
disnerd4 14
Your dad's a real snot, huh?
worldclassrager 41
That's probably a way of saying he is out of shotgun shells... Sorry that happened OP...you have our sympathy
Arcanel 18
Wow your father is a real class act huh? Unfortunately there really isn't much you can do.... he is your old man. Do what I do, don't confide in your parents a friend or a cousin is usually better. Hope you got the nastiness out your hair mama.
gracehi 33
I'm not a violent person, but I would kick my own father in the shin for that. Snot grosses me out more than anything--more than blood, more than piss, more than poop, more than roaches--anything.
Nilorak 24
Really? I love snot.
buckdharma 38
On the plus side your hair is so shiny and manageable.
ultraspiderdud 3
Holy shit this comment made me laugh harder that the story.
opiate_ape 10
hahahahahahha your dad is a random jerk