Today, my son begged me to take him to the doctor for the weeping bloody rash on his penis so I had to take an unpaid day off for his appointment. The doctor laughed us out the door after it turned out to be a good old-fashioned friction burn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor because of the redness and swelling of my penis, hoping that it was just a minor rash or allergic reaction. Nope! According to the doctor, who could barely stop herself from laughing, it's good old-fashioned friction burns. FML
Today, I was mortified when I went to the doctor for what I thought was an allergic reaction rash and turned out to just be a bad carpet burn from rough sex, on my back and my ass cheeks. The doctor was visibly trying not to laugh. FML
Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my little twelve year-old cousin who is staying with us for a while so his parents can "work out issues" ran into my room, his face ghostly white. He begged me to take him to the hospital because he "tugged" on his penis too much in the shower, and was "bleeding milky stuff." Sigh. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML
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Top comments
TumblrweedPasses 11
So your son was concerned something was wrong with his downstairs and sensibly asked you to take him to the drs only for it to turn out not to be serious Stop being a moody 'unpaid day off' whinger and be proud your son isn't worried about getting these kinds of issues looked at
sunnyray812 42
Would you rather it be something serious that could have been possibly untreatable? I say YDI because you're son is ok.
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Comments (35)
sunnyray812 42
Would you rather it be something serious that could have been possibly untreatable? I say YDI because you're son is ok.
Emma Marshall_738558922 12
......your*. I couldn't help it
TumblrweedPasses 11
So your son was concerned something was wrong with his downstairs and sensibly asked you to take him to the drs only for it to turn out not to be serious Stop being a moody 'unpaid day off' whinger and be proud your son isn't worried about getting these kinds of issues looked at
GUYMAINE 16
If it showed up out of the blue, then yes, it should be brought to attention. But if you've been ******* your couch/bed all night long you might want to grow the **** up. Seems like you've had the problem and feel attacked
Jaelkus 28
It’s time to have the “talk.”
purplewhanker 4
"doctor laughed us out the door" time for a new doc - kudos to son for seeking help for potential problem of such intimate nature
RichardPencil 32
I hope the doctor at least checked his hands for calluses and prescribed some good lotion.
fjvitt 14
Will he have to inform his partner, Rosie Palm, about his STD???
lizenhagen 11
Palmela Handerson
Mungolikecandy 19
A good job it turned out to be that rather than incurable dickrot. That is no laughing matter trust me on that.
Phillycheeze 20
He was pulling for pleasure but the "rash" was pushing for pain..
BetterThanU 1
Raise your damn kid instead of whining, YDI
Kameron Kriese 11
Wow, I don't think any parent wants to sit down and tell thier kids about how to jerk it with lotion instead of practicing for a dry entry.
AmbrosiaFan 19
It is a part of parenthood. Parent needs to parent up and stop whining about parenting.
TheSminty1 17
He had to beg you to take him to the doc? There is a special place in hell for your kind