Help!

Seriously.

What on earth is a "soup" opera? Is that when cans of soup get together and sing? My point is that if you are stupid enough to bring a dog into your home, then you accept that you will be the piss and shit cleanup committee for that creature and have no right to claim that doing so is an FYL. No dog=no shit or piss in the house. Actually, I have a successful career and an active social life including a truly amazing spouse and beautiful daughter so your asinine beliefs that dog haters are socially inept or lonely is incorrect. All it means is that we like our floors and carpets shit and piss free, we don't want to have a smelly thing jumping on us and slobbering, we don't want to blow a fortune on smelly dog food or worse, prepare special meals for animals, we don't want our homes covered in fur and smelling like dirty, stinky dog and we don't want to plan our lives around a dog's toilet schedule. We can leave the house whenever we want and not come home to steaming piles of shit and a lake of piss. We can stay out for as long as we want without having to rush home and let the dog out so it doesn't shit and piss in our house. The truth is that dog owners are the ones with the social issues. You idiots assign human emotions/behavior to animals because you need the unconditional "love" you think a dog gives you. Dogs do not love you; they follow you around because you feed them. And the ones that think they're pleasing you by submission peeing in your presence? No thanks. I want to be friends with something that doesn't think it needs to urinate in my presence to show me that it respects me. I could hatchet murder someone right in front of their dog and within hours that dog would be following me around; all I'd need is raw meat. Feed them and the greedy things will follow you into a burning building to get more food. I laugh out loud at all the asinine things dog owners do for their pets. The doggy day care, the constant scrubbing where Fido had an accident, replacing the furniture Fido chewed, walking in blizzards and monsoons, morning, noon and night because Fido has to take a dump or Fido will only piss on one tree, Fido stole the Thanksgiving turkey, Fido ate a pair of shoes, Fido barks all night like an ass, Fido won't eat the most expensive dog food so he gets a steak dinner every night while the humans eat macaroni and cheese. My God, the list goes on. What a waste of money and time. Life is too short to be using special cleaners where the dog shit and to be standing in the rain watching one lift its leg.

tl;dr

Bankrupt, shut up.

Anyone else notice how she brags about how her life is good, yet she is named "Bankrupt" and spends her nights reading and commenting FMLs? If you really did have a nice life, you would be enjoying it so much that you wouldn't have time to write your life novels here.