Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
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Top comments
PULS3_fml 0
sounds like a shitty situation
perdix 31
A Torpedo of Diarrhea. . . that sounds like a dog toy that didn't really catch on.
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Comments (118)
TheNewGuy03 29
am i the only one that literally lolled reading this? :o but i do think your dog just did this for ***** and giggles... *dives into box filled with poo-related puns* |the kid|
pink_mess 0
hahaha torpedo
badphoneguy_fml 0
poor dog! my boston would rather die than go in the house, and the same thing happened to him last month, he ducked is head as if to say "im sorry daddy and so ashamed" i felt so bad for my little buddy. i cleaned it up and put him outside for a while and fed him some cheese.
xpainx 1
ydi for havigna ******* dog geta cat next time tarrrd
FretMasterLive 4
oh my gawd! I don't think that would have been half as funny if you didn't explain it the way you did xD
margie4peace 11
Thanks for not blaming the dog. :-)
atomicbaboon 0
great mental image of a dog flying down the hallway with a shit propelling him through the air. Priceless.
LilAngel606 5
Aww poor dog and poor you cuz you would have to clean it up