Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
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Top comments
PULS3_fml 0
sounds like a shitty situation
perdix 31
A Torpedo of Diarrhea. . . that sounds like a dog toy that didn't really catch on.
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Comments (118)
today_fml_wtf 0
Why does every FML entry start with "Today,"? It's really effin annoying.
BOBO_CRUNCHY 0
shit happens
perdix 31
A Torpedo of Diarrhea. . . that sounds like a dog toy that didn't really catch on.
MadPercussion 0
I clicked the like button located on the comment above the comment you are currently reading.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Aka, the Wrong Kong
shhhh_x0 0
why does your username start with today ?
farkie3 8
...F?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I'm guessing you're looking at when this was posted, not the username. It's after midnight my time, so it says "[yesterday] ukfan".
tamie306 5
there she blows!
nickharbut 6
Please never use the word torpedo and the word diarhea in the same sentence.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for not understanding your dog properly, for keeping that poor dog in captivity, for feeding him microwaved babies and causing food poisoning, and for having a hallway. WTF kind of building has a hallway, anyway? You wackjob.
CitizenSnipz 0
You're my favorite troll :D
The_Earth 0
^you just did. and OP, YDI for not being able to read your dog's mind. we planets, can. so why can't you? oh wait, you don't use your full brain capacity.. what a shame..
DarkSaul 20
She cant speak dog idiot
oPR0t0TYPEo 0
OMG the way you explained it was freaking halarious!!!
melissa333jade 3
i no ayee how cute that face the dog pulled would have been so hilarious!!!
zekksy_fml 0
lmfao