Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML
Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML
Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML
Today, I went to the gym and got locked in the locker room. I had to call the gym's phone number to get them to come let me out, after being in there for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
Cyacide 4
At least they didn't push it over too.
rawrmeansiloveu 7
Well that stinks hahaha :P
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Comments (78)
rawrmeansiloveu 7
Well that stinks hahaha :P
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Literally ;D I bet op got quite the potty mouth after that realization :O
THE_A_TEEN 28
Better than "sh***y situation".
Torva_fml 16
Don't worry #10! they're on their way!
evilscorpi 29
Your lucky they didn't tip you over.
n_epic_fail 14
Reasons why porta poties should be banned: - THE SMELL - the annoying doors - THE SMELL - the possibility of being tipped over - THE SMELL - nasty seats - did I mention the smell? - assholes locking you in
DLBL 23
I don't think you've thought this through.
flockz 20
reasons porta potties shouldn't be banned: -i'd rather not shit in a bush -i'd rather not wipe my ass with a leaf
n_epic_fail 14
Hmmm, touché.
KindaFunnyRight 8
What a piss off ;D
HahaHokayThen 10
Your best ideas come to you as you're sitting on the toilet.
gingerftw 0
Nice pun
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
That's so punny!!:D
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
That's so punny!:D
graham11 14
Yeah yeah it it is is pretty pretty punny punny
friedchickenpie 14
21 and 24, let's make a compromise... Velvet bushes with toilet paper attached.
bebohacker1 4
I see what you did there
Dinkle 1
Darn Ginger
gojira666 7
You now have aids.
MinSY 2
Do people even use porta potties... Never seen/known anyone to know until OP.
ImFrackinBored 13
That's genius...
Cyacide 4
At least they didn't push it over too.
KiddNYC1O 22
Spyro would have torched it.
Cyacide 4
That would have been a much more interesting FML hehe.
eatsleepjb 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A person wasn't the reason that op got stuck; it was the padlock so there's no "they"
BentlieBabe44 6
62, it says that a person put a padlock on it.
Cyacide 4
Does the non existing "they" also make padlocks that fly onto, and lock porta potty doors?? Is the company name "Some Asshole"?
lilcatisawesome 7
For real ;(
upyourzlolz 11
Congrats 62! I have edited my profile just for you! Check it out!
PYLrulz 17
62 - Were you born a dumb piece of shit, or did you work hard at being one?!?
sparklemuffin 8
third!!
Torva_fml 16
Seriously? It's not a competition.....
baseballplaya5 7
Did you enjoy the smell?
bossroyd 4
Yes, OP enjoyed the smell so much that he wrote an FML about what happened to him
Antoine_Dodson 0
I have to try this sometime.
Glidefedt 6
Would you be the locker, or the locked-in?
cunningchick 1
Love the pic!!
Torva_fml 16
Bitch please! I woulda gone hulk on that door.
dumboears 8
And that would result in you dumping it over.
Torva_fml 16
I've kicked doors down before, I don't recall anything getting dumped over.
TheGreatAlexande 12
Why go Hulk? Spartan kicks are so much more fun.
thisisafunnyname 12
I was about to suggest going all slumdog millionaire on the toilet
graham11 14
50- there's always an escape route. Sometimes you just have to get creative!! Such a fantastic movie!
drealmorales 2
MMM....;D don't go poopy if you know what's good for you..
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
Umm what?
Justforlolz 14
If you know what's good for you, you'll take a crap.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oh good, then you'll get your intestines backed up, fecal matter gets absorbed into the blood stream, and get various bacterial infections or rupture intestines that will fill your body cavity and kill you. Do you want that?
rallets 23
have you ever SEEN the human centipede?!?!?!
graham11 14
40- tosh.o did the funniest movie review of the human centipede! ******* hilarious!
autumnleighf 0
Your icon doesn't make sense, pikachu doesn't evolve because ash chooses for him not to before battling raichu in season one.
kroekdog 7
I personally would have tipped it over if I would have seen you in there
twofirstnames 12
This is why I don't use porta potties
LaColombianita 26
Same here! And I'm always scared an alligator or something is gonna pop out the toilet lol
twofirstnames 12
Oh my gosh I think the same thing! Also I heard this story once that a man climbed in a woman's porta potty like where all the 'waste' goes and he was taping women using the bathroom. That's a scary thought. Also porta potties are unsanitary, both reasons why I don't use them. I just hold it. Haha
THE_A_TEEN 28
Hmm, alright. Go shit in a bush and wipe your arse-hole with a leaf if a porta-potty is the only place where you at least have some decency and privacy.
The_Troller 14
Port-a-potties aren't THAT bad. I used to be a boy scout and the urinal in the summer camp bathrooms was just a long metal trough.
koolkat27 13
porta potties aren't that bad. I usually just breathe through my mouth and it works fine. there's no need to be such ******* about it.
twofirstnames 12
The smell isn't the main problem. It's all the germs and crap like that.
Jaxx66 21
I use the hover technique in any public restroom and use tissue from the little dispenser I carry. Safest way! You don't know if someone has something and pee'd on the seat.
mancool124 4
you dont need a leaf if you bring a waterbottle or some klenex
ForeverScarlett 3
I would piss beside a car and get caught, than piss in a porta pottie
ZDK5498 6
dude, I hope it did not STINK too bad :/
THE_A_TEEN 28
I bet that felt like CRAP, right?
graham11 14
"Dude," usually porta-potties smell like total shit so by using context clues, I'm assuming it smelled like shit.