Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
randomkayx3 11
Why is it always the person being good that's ******?
amayranii 2
So much for trying to help
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
grapist111 4
Your first thumbs up comment! Congrats itskaylabitch!
MaddieLynn123 7
I've had Many more thumbs up, but thanks anyway hun;)
kmt12890 5
Stop helping people. They won't do shit for you.
MaddieLynn123 7
HAHA whoops! Wrong FML, sorry! I mnent to reply to someone else.
Kenatia 7
Its good you helped. It sucks you got your pocket picked. So many bad people in the world today...makes it hard for one to nice....
melrose90210 10
I've lost faith in humanity.
sailorguy 2
I call bullshit on you. An "experienced paramedic" would never refer to himself as an "experienced paramedic." And, more importantly, a paramedic wouldn't describe himself as "rushing" to the scene. Even more important than that, a paramedic in that position wouldn't assess the patients involved, he would triage them while waiting for additional resources. Nothing about the way you talk sounds like a paramedic. Guess what I do for a living, you fake.....
lemonsquid 6
And took..?
thefiske 0
I say give the pickpocketer a 12 gauge with sulfuric acid.
XxUNBROKENxX 7
That's why when I see car accidents I just let the people die.....