Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
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Top comments
Spiffy 0
at least you know he's comfortable sharing
ccb_fml 0
hahaha if i were you... i'd give him a high five for having a good sense of humor. that's hilarious... please don't tell me you continued to dress and left.... people knock on people's doors all the time. no biggie.....
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Comments (159)
TheNameless_fml 0
Heh. At least his mother didn't knock, burst in on you and your boyfriend having sex without waiting for a reply and ask the two of you to read her lottery ticket for her, like my mother did. Luckily we had a blanket over us, but it was still annoying.
deejay021 0
#89 i wouldn't doubt it...30 minutes is damn decent...i like the name Zoe(y) i mean...idk... its cute i think i would date a girl named Zoe(y)... and yeah it could have been worse...she could have ran in screaming "harlot harlot" i mean... yeah... you gotta look on the brighter side of life...
blushinFML 0
does your boyfriend have a brother?
FuckedRoyally 3
Well, your boytoy either has 1) a great sense of humor and, like me, thinks his mom wouldn't give a shit and would just reply: "Make sure you use a condom." Or 2) he's a dumbass and you should drop him like a three-week old dirty diaper.
FuckedRoyally 3
By the way, thirty minutes is nothing. You should be spending at LEAST that much time on foreplay alone.
okorimthe3rd 0
damn DJ is a dumbass bad luck zoey
cypher_sonic 0
I hope she said "Good job, son! Carry on!"
thisucked6 0
OMG! that's f-ing hilarious! love it!
jammers 0
super props to your bf for his honesty and openness. and the hilarity ensues!
stfuchivonne 0
this is like my favorite thing ever! so amazingly funny