Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML
Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML
Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, I accidentally poked myself in the left eye. As I sat there in pain, my 9-year-old nephew, who we think has OCD, decided to help out by poking me in the right eye. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
saIty 17
The names Bond... Rubber man Bond...
imustbeinsane 2
Now you have to make him look like a pirate too! Cut off his hand
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
Pentium_4 27
At least you were on the computer so you could post this FML as soon as possible
PresAgent 23
That's a hell of a shot... FYL OP, eye injuries aren't any fun. I'm sure your dad didn't mean to hit you in the eye, so don't be too mad at him.
BradyT918 9
Gotta be careful. You can put an eye out with one of those darn rubber bands.
HazingNight 4
Clever
audioskater2 4
Wow that's horrible D:
graham11 14
19- it's an FML. Thank you captain obvious.
Wolvy_fml 3
On top of mount smokey, All covered in sand, I killed my poor daughter, With a green rubber band.
bennn89 5
Lmao
Stoneyyay 5
aaaarrrrggghhh, are u okay? lol
foxmatrix15 8
Show him ur doctors bill receipt the complain to him how much ur injury costs and make him feel bad
crazyrn 6
Feel bad? I'd make him pay it!
rubberduckie94 13
it could have been worse, you could have been performing with a switchblade.
rubberduckie94 13
kids today with there fancy health insurance, going to the doctor everytime something flies in there eye. back in my day we got injured we just kept on working even if a bear ate our legs off....and we liked it.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Today we have newer medical knowlage than yesteryear. Meaning half the crap that seemed harmless are actually harmful. ...and really, no one wants to be blind.
rubberduckie94 13
while i will agree with you on your point my comment was made tongue and cheek. I really do hope her the op's eye will heal
Jimboom 12
Ha ha. Thats what you get for not paying attention. Next time duck, roll, pick and flick!
Hockeyboy4280 18
What?
MinecraftDragon 5
What the hell?
Jimboom 12
Use your snot as your ammo. Obviously.