Today, at around 9:30 PM after a gym session and coaching a wrestling practice, I made myself a shake with some protein powder that my fiancée bought for me. Around midnight, I realized that I wasn’t very tired, so I looked at the box of protein powder. It contains 220 mg of caffeine per serving. I took a serving and a half. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML
Today, I looked at the supplements my boyfriend puts in the protein shakes we both drink. To my horror, most of them listed "boosts libido" or "increased fertility" as benefits. When I confronted him, he said ,"So? I drink them too, it's not like I'm drugging you or something." FML
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML
Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
Today, I went through the local coffee shop drive-thru and got a canned energy drink. I didn't notice the extra topping until I was miles down the road. Someone had thoughtfully topped the can with whipped cream and curly hairs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Do your taxes and clean the gutters. Organize your sock drawer by color and thread count. Count your silverware and enter it on a spreadsheet. So much you can do with your time!
Yudith 28
Next time, remember to drink only warm milk in the evenings, and to keep the protein shakes for the morning after.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Do your taxes and clean the gutters. Organize your sock drawer by color and thread count. Count your silverware and enter it on a spreadsheet. So much you can do with your time!
Yudith 28
Next time, remember to drink only warm milk in the evenings, and to keep the protein shakes for the morning after.
Attacksloth32 7
This would have caught me off-guard as well. Who the heck expects run-of-the-mill protein powder to have caffeine... especially that much, in it.