Today, and since being diagnosed with bowel cancer, I realised I’ve been unintentionally limiting the places I go to, like shops and restaurants, based solely on the quality of their toilet paper. Not really complaining, I just thought it was kinda funny. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML
Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML
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Top comments
OhhaiYumi 10
Consider possibly carrying baby wipes or your own tissue. after having a baby I had to do this until I was fully recovered of you know what I mean.
Warp1978 15
As regular hemorrhoids sufferer, take wipes with you for when you need to use a public toilet. The state brand of loo roll in the UK is 0.5 ply.
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Comments (7)
Brightside86 31
Low quality toilet paper baffles me. I mean triple ply is only like $0.75 roll. Even if single ply is literally free, isn't it worth like $.05 per customer to not have the lowest grade experience possible? It's the most ridiculous place to try and cut corners.
Warp1978 15
As
Warp1978 15
As regular hemorrhoids sufferer, take wipes with you for when you need to use a public toilet. The state brand of loo roll in the UK is 0.5 ply.
RichardPencil 32
I'm troubled with your use of the word "unintentionally." If you're giving so much attention to the toilet paper quality, it seems pretty intentional.
WadStakk 21
Oh Pencil you’re so accurate! So I have to agree with you on this one as much as I understand what she meant… I will continue loving you no matter what either way
raven_of_azarath 35
The quality of toilet paper is exactly why I don’t use the restroom at work unless I absolutely have to. With how many brands are now adding like lotions and stuff to their paper and the fact that I have an allergy to some kind of ingredient found in stuff like that, I get rashes if I use anything other than like 2 brands.
OhhaiYumi 10
Consider possibly carrying baby wipes or your own tissue. after having a baby I had to do this until I was fully recovered of you know what I mean.
Hangryko 32
Bring your own toilet paper.