Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother's new kitten decided to bring me a gift as a sign of love. It was my pet hamster. FML
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
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Top comments
i_live2fly 0
OMFG that is one ****** up kid!!!!!!!!
steakpak 0
Ya, that's gonna be a little problem. Most serial killers have a history of harming animals as children. You should seriously seek some professional help for him.
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Comments (511)
axel2013 4
This ******* **** makes me want to touture him an make him suffer!!!!!!!
Tempest559 12
Sounds like the signs of a future serial killer
gcnickel77 2
If any of you have studied psychology briefly, (which I'm sure most of you haven't) as beyond disturbing as this act may seem it is actually quite common among male adolescents to commit savage acts on small animals as part of their maturing process. If we had a serial killer for every kid who shoved a fire cracker up a frog's ass we would have 100's of millions of them in our society today.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I've taken psychology in college and though you're correct that not every person who harms animals as a child turns out to be a serial killer, it still doesn't qualify as normal. Just because it is common doesn't mean it isn't bad.
Dilwann 27
Same. I'm in my second year Psychology at university, and that's definitely not normal behavior.
shithappens10125 6
I sense a serial killer in his future...
cl4ptp 18
poor hamster.
seacadet 18
He needs some style and a hobbie to get some friends... How about a trench coat and a gun!?
lonely_heart_89 6
Omg, serial killer in the making...
Cass_x 22
I agree with #410
Baller_Bob 17
I honestly want to brutally murder your brother. But obviously I have no idea where he lives sooo... Yeah
mat_sib 18
Put him in a hospital