Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, work was so busy that when I went to take a shit, I had to force it and wipe hurriedly. Later, when I got home and hopped in the shower, my wife saw the skid mark in my underwear and lost her shit, calling me a disgusting disgraceful pig. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
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Top comments
warrior2 20
Why all the rrrrrrrrs?
lantz4levi 19
Maybe you should talk to her about cleaning it herself when she's done? Fyl
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Comments (34)
melanielovejeff 15
Tell her to brush her hair before getting in the shower. My hair goes past my butt. Only 1 or 2 strands of my hair come out during a shower. I wipe it on the shower wall, and after my shower I put it in the garbage.
kelbel9577 9
I have long, thick hair so when I'm done shampooing I'm always cleaning a huge amount of hair off of the drain!!
thisguy22 33
Ugh. That's terrrrible. I'm sorry for your suffering.
loserman67 36
That's ruff, but does she like it doggie style?
Internetflakes 13
Are you married to JLO?
JuxtaposListen 5
The elongated 'flooorrrr' has me cracking up. I can really feel your anguish.
PrincessShiraz 11
tell her to brush brush brush her hair before washing it (or brush it for her, which she will love). I have long, thick hair and you can't imagine what comes off in my fingers if I don't brush beforehand.
NuttyProfessor 7
She could totally have hypothyroidism, and autoimmune disease that makes your immune system decide to attack your own thyroid gland until it is decimated. You make very little thyroid hormone since your thyroid gland has been attacked relentlessly by your own body and It gets to the point that you have no energy, feel cold ALL the time, your skin dries out, your nails crack, your hair falls out... Oh wait, I'm talking about me FML.
KagomeTsukaimiya 2
Why are you just now noticing this?
Oh_bother44 11
Why doesn't your wife clear the drain when she gets out of the shower? Common courtesy.....