Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, work was so busy that when I went to take a shit, I had to force it and wipe hurriedly. Later, when I got home and hopped in the shower, my wife saw the skid mark in my underwear and lost her shit, calling me a disgusting disgraceful pig. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
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Top comments
warrior2 20
Why all the rrrrrrrrs?
lantz4levi 19
Maybe you should talk to her about cleaning it herself when she's done? Fyl
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Comments (34)
synthetictruism 18
I know your pain, good sir... I seriously can't understand how my girlfriend's scalp manages to grow so much hair on what seems a daily basis, and yet I'm now stuggling to keep a full head of hair on my own (and it is her hair in the drain, not mine! :D)
brezzyanna 17
You shed just as much, but girls usually have longer hair, so you can see it when it sheds.
newzealand 28
Rrrrr to you too ;)
MetalxSoldier 26
OP is Hispanic and simply rolling his "r". Trust me, I'm Hispanic and we do it all the time. Rrrrrrrrr
SauceySarah 30
I'm the exact same way. I shed everywhere. Having long hair is a blessing and a curse.
charliewhippet 9
You can get drain guards to stop hair going down the plughole. Do a google search for plughole strainer. Hope that helps!
bazoo42 25
Don't even need to Google it. Just go to Walmart or a hardware store. They cost less than $5.
samlovesham1234 9
Or any other store. Even the grocery store might have them. I use them in the tub all the time because of my long hair.
tomvertigo 17
Pretty typical thing when it comes to ladies and shower drains, tbh
spirithound 13
Maybe if you groomed her properly...
2simz 25
Most women do shed because of their longer hair just ask her to clean it up
Cavalrysword 8
What species did you "marry"?
Bibblejomin 18
OP had a stroke while posting.