Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML
Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Polly want uhh...breast milk?
Llamassss 21
I would imagine that would be pretty painful.
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Comments (72)
singer0421 32
He doesn't seem to be the smartest bird in the flock...
cottoncandymango 17
This FML deserves more details.
SolarFlare 20
What do you want to know exactly?
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
Breast size, for sure ;)
perdix 31
The bright spot in this story is that your brother has a very promising future in sales or politics. The not-bright spot in this story is your boyfriend.
Mshrodes 13
I highly doubt that the entire Canadian population is as naive and gullible as the bf (or at least I hope so). I mean, I don't like to call people dumb, but the boyfriend here sure isn't the sharpest pencil in the drawer.
perdix 31
#55, all you need is 50% + 1 ;)
akaiberry 15
Bird's don't drink milk 'specially human milk.. Hate to say it but your bf seems to lack quite a bit in the brains department.
michelleJ11 25
I think we've all figured that out, but thank you for the input.
The_Thinker 18
Your boyfriend seems a little bird-brained, to say the least.
PenguinBitch 44
Surely if you did breast feed a parrot, your nipples will be a sore red color with signs of tearing. It's best to show your boyfriend, in fact, show us and we'll try to convince him for you.
colvindj 22
I heard that breast milk is very nutritious for parrots.
Nurd4lyfe 7
I want to know how in Christ's name that topic came up!
brookieh 12
you must not have a younger brother
pikachulove14 14
maybe this is a stupid question,but who would breast feed a parrot?
Jezzikah 11
No one. Hence why the bf believing it is an fml
Treveyon56 14
You never know. There are weird people out there. Some of which enjoy pain.
pikachulove14 14
true
LilMissHotHead 10
How's he do that and why?