Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML
Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Polly want uhh...breast milk?
Llamassss 21
I would imagine that would be pretty painful.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (72)
HeartOfLead 24
How can your boyfriend believe such a crazy thought, unless... the brother can control what people think. I think we have a bigger problem at hand!
Eiregal2 10
I am sorry to sound mean, but doesn't say much for your boyfriends IQ does it?
Cynical_1 26
Polly want a little breast milk with his crackers? I know I always take some with mine...it's yummy. Lol
metalhedcop 6
Sounds like it's time for you to become single again, and be a little more picky.
Steve95401 49
Did your brother convince your dumb-ass boyfriend that you also hatch the newborn parrots?
crisanba 18
You either have a smart brother or a dumb boyfriend for him to believe that
RedPillSucks 33
Tell your boyfriend that the parrot sucks dicks too. Ask him to try. If he's stupid enough to believe your brother, he's stupid enough to believe this, and the parrot will stop his ability to procreate.
jesustitts 20
Only if it destroys the balls as well. There was a man on Ripley's believe it or not who had his penis removed, medical reasons of course, and a finger put in its place and worked just like a penis.
vlalam 24
Ur bro seems to be a genius and ur bf is just dumb?
bigpops 12
What a dumbass...
catsie_fml 14
Lmfao omgggggg