Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML
Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Polly want uhh...breast milk?
Llamassss 21
I would imagine that would be pretty painful.
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Comments (72)
Kennuckle_fml 6
What breed of parrot do you have? I have a parakeet so I'm interested :-)
jesustitts 20
So you can breastfeed it?
jsc9306 14
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Get a new one with a brain.
RsSsCamaro 4
What a smart guy he must be.
cho_bee 9
I know, I love PhotoShop, too!
jazzymiranda 8
I literally had to read that 3 times to make sure I actually read what it said
Omnytrx 3
Maybe you shouldn't date idiots with pretty faces rather than brains -_-
Sir_Swaggington 6
At least you know your boyfriend is an idiot. I'd get rid of him and thank the little bro.
KestrelGirl 15
One, they're probably both kinda dumb... no birds naturally drink milk. Dump the guy and thank your brother for making you realize your former boyfriend is a douche! Two, that's just hilarious!!
Karls_Marx 13
Did he twist your nipples off and think they're raisins
Indiantrolledd 16
I don't have ****, but hell, that would be painful.