Today, a bug crawled inside my ear. In a panic, I called my boyfriend to come over and help me. His mother told him to put pee in my ear to kill the bug so it would just fall out. I ended up in the hospital because the pee made the bug want to claw its way out through my eardrum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Today, something blocked my ear. I couldn't get it out, so I went to Urgent Care so I didn't pop my eardrums. Turns out my allergies made my ears stop draining. After they rinsed my ears, I can now hear almost nothing. FML
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
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Top comments
sweetbliss3 37
um I'm sure tweezers would have worked much better.
cdgrayson 21
I guess that bug was pissed off!
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Comments (34)
cdgrayson 21
I guess that bug was pissed off!
duhoh 3
Yeah
kujiens101 24
More like pissed on!
Danne696 14
This is the reason you should consult professionals straight away. There is another old folk remedy that says that you can cure rheumatism with rattlesnake venom which is equally bad for you.
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Peecause you’re dating an idiot, urine the hospital!
She's Got Moxie 14
Why pee tho? ? And why the f would you listen to someone telling you to put it in your ear.... lmao
sweetbliss3 37
um I'm sure tweezers would have worked much better.
RichardPencil 32
How would peeing on tweezers help?
sweetbliss3 37
hahaha.not sure. you go try it and then let me know what happens.
DragonMaiden7 15
This actually made me giggle
Kurliez408 32
Can't believe you even agreed to that....
fearrhyno1 18
Uhm, I think you kind of deserve this one.... PEE, inside your ear? That can cause an infection as it is, warm water would have sufficed but I really hope everything turned out great after the docs visit.
Ladisa 28
I'm curious, why would pee cause an infection? Unless the bf (assuming it was his pee) had a UTI, the pee should be pretty sterile.
Tripartita 45
How the hell did an FML from the pre-google era make it through to modern times?!
kusje 31
YDI for letting him pee in your ear
sullivankeara 25
What did I just read?
Inkoseh 33
A beautiful story of pee and woe.
Cali 57
Well said, chyiochan.