Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML
Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for three hours. FML
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Top comments
dragonstrike94 8
Well its sometimes true
koolkat27 13
11- um.. that's actually what you're supposed to do.
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Comments (176)
WaylonD 4
You should have opened with," A blind man walked into a fish market and said, Good morning ladies!"
DeedaLynn 3
Colt 45 by Afroman?
andy30ace 3
Priceless lol
noisebox 1
Don't worry even Dr. Ruth once said ( to discourage men not to eat pussy) "it's dark and smelly ( fishy?). My dad told me he saw Dr. Ruth say that on TV......
gfoxx17iv 0
I definitely don't mean you're a ******* idiot when I say you're a ******* idiot
twiins_fml 5
Mine smells like heaven
XRaYKaT 3
I love it when I have fish finger.
SlicedPickles106 0
Lol if I were there when you said that I probably would have laughed
fadingfaith 4
Well, opening sentences are suppose to grab the reader's/audience's attention...
RedCrow 0
End with dicks smell like sunshine lollipops and rainbows. I can here the standing ovation already.
upsidedownfrownn 5
No you didn't.