Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
Today, I arrived home and it was freezing. I asked why the windows and doors on the terrace were open and my roommate told me it was because she'd mopped the floor… on the terrace. The terrace that's outdoors. She thinks that this way the floor would dry faster. FML
Today, my roommate and I got into a heated argument over whether people should wear shoes inside the apartment. It escalated so badly that we now have masking tape dividing the floor into “shoe zones” and “clean zones” like a low-budget international border. Guests have started asking for instructions before entering. FML
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today, I had to place under the carpet another patch of 1/4" plywood over another broken spot in the hardwood floor. My not-so-flatmate refuses to anything about her morbid obesity, and will definitely cost us our deposit when the landlady finds out. FML
Today, like everyday, I have to ignore the mould in the bathroom, cat shit stuck to the dining room floor, and dirty dishes in the kitchen courtesy of my never-cleaning sister, but today she bitched at me for being gross and unhygenic for double dipping the ice-cream tub, and everyone agreed. FML
Today, I learned that my friend's "No shoes in the house" rule was only told to me so he had an excuse to see my feet. I found out when he had a group of us over and I was the only one barefoot, while he didn't care that everyone else had shoes on. FML
Today I knocked on one of my roommate's door and asked her to stop vacuuming since it's was late. She started to record me and went on a tirade about how none of the girls there respect her. She has previously tried to push two girls down the stairs. Her lease isn't up for 4 more months. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Where's the dirt coming from? You probably need to catch the dirt-tracking intruder who's coming into your house!
Yudith 28
Are you playing in the dirt outside? Because it sounds like your feet are grimy and full of dirt, and your housemate is tired of cleaning dirty footprints all over the house.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Where's the dirt coming from? You probably need to catch the dirt-tracking intruder who's coming into your house!
Yudith 28
Are you playing in the dirt outside? Because it sounds like your feet are grimy and full of dirt, and your housemate is tired of cleaning dirty footprints all over the house.