Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
That stinks.
Fuaaad1994 31
Next time you to play scrabble, have a meal with beans and eggs. Fight fire with fire.
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Comments (61)
KingLewisII 34
Well what do you expect you interrupted bingo night
brandoneyez1 25
Next time be ready with dirtier words.
vlalam 24
Grandma strikes again!!!
animalxcrackers 20
You checked the scrabble dictionary? You must be fun at parties.
worldclassrager 41
Try a different game maybe...
kasmol 16
I couldn't play The Game of Life with my granny. She would call me a welfare cheat and then complain that if women just gave more ******** there wouldn't be so damned many kids.
brettzki 5
in my book thats not an fml. :) then again you don't have my family lol
Jetfrog28 7
Well, according to the official Scrabble rules you have to challenge, and someone else has to look it up, and there are penalties if you get it wrong. This prevents looking up words you want to find and challenging everything. However, this still sucks, and I feel sorry for you. I know how bad Scrabble games can get. FYL
JackMeoffGoude 7
this makes me miss my grammy
liz1515 10
Sounds lovely. My grandmother has a habit of playing literally anything she fancies and then forcing me to check the Scrabble dictionary to check for its validity.
FrankHotpants 31
Oh come on now, poppycock isn't a dirty word.
BrotherPhil 35
From the old dutch "pappycack", meaning soft shit. I'd call that quite dirty, or at least a bugger to wash off.