Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML
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Top comments
SimplyBird 9
Fart to prove them wrong
Verst 16
Instead of talking to your girlfriend about it, have a private conversation with her father. Find out what His issue is.
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Comments (78)
Liamc620 10
He's testing you to see if your good enough to date his daughter.
perdix 31
Just say you don't want your piss to turn green and stink. Asparagus, spinach and beans are anti-aphrodisiacs -- avoid them in romantic situations.
JMichael 26
He sounds like quite the character. I wish you luck OP.
ccdude14 4
Don't sweat it. Learn to let the little ones go or come time for a big battle you will lose. Show her reason to trust you through action. If trust becomes an issue then walk. For this one though just let it go.
fletchy803 10
People stop saying it's not bad, this obviously IS bad to the person who posted it!
johnpaisley 6
That's vary SHITTY of him
scice03 8
Ugh just get out, it's foreshadowing your entire relationship.
renaee 13
When I met my ex boyfriend's mom; Boyfriend: "This is my girlfriend, Jordyn." Boyfriend's mom: "No it's not." Annnnd that's why I don't date.
sanecatlady 13
I like asparagus. My mother knows the right way to cook them with a sweet, buttery type of sauce. Mmmm.
Omniprism 15
Explain to her that you would not do that because for one you are trying to make a good impression and for two you don't know the dog well enough to feed him something he may or may not be able to eat. And I'd say now I'm angry at you for thinking id be an inconsiderate thoughtless asshole.
Setareh23 34
I agree that he should just explain the situation to her. But I don't think there's a need for him to get angry. Nowhere in the FML does it say she called him "an inconsiderate thoughtless asshole," only that she believed her father over him (come on, it's her own father, it's hard not to believe him vs a new boyfriend). Perhaps she thought OP was just feeding the dog because he didn't like asparagus and was too embarrassed to say so. Perhaps she thought it was cute or funny, and he wrote the FML because he felt embarrassed at the whole situation. No need to start an argument over something so trivial.