Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had left the house without her cell phone. I called her phone to let her know she forgot it. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML
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Top comments
Laelfy 0
Wouldnt you know your moms number??
MrMaD_fml 2
LMMFAO... ..now that's funny! My first favorite!
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Comments (122)
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Wtf is wrong with you to be so dumb??? YDI, and you're lucky it was your mom and nor a murderous rapist psycho!!
Tigg3r 3
Just when you think they start to actually care about you feelings. Put a note on her windshield, "I think you are one lousy ass slutty bitch." Makes everything even.
breakingmydawn_ 0
..wouldn't you know your mom's number?
LolWaitWut 0
I. LOVE. YOUR. MOM. :D!
Balding 0
Your mom is awesome.
monster_tamer 11
Sounds a bit like a cruel and somewhat tasteless joke...
Omnigeek6 1
You sir, were just pwned epically. XD
beacee 0
YDI for being desperate enough to immediately call the number someone left on your windshield and for not recognizing your mom's phone number
kdb268 1
LOL That sucks, but it's kind of sweet. Of course your mom thinks you're cute--she just wanted to give you a little boost. Maybe?
Croco83 7
That's what you call getting punk'd...and by your own mother? That is Epic Win right there.