Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had left the house without her cell phone. I called her phone to let her know she forgot it. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML
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Top comments
Laelfy 0
Wouldnt you know your moms number??
MrMaD_fml 2
LMMFAO... ..now that's funny! My first favorite!
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Comments (122)
lfries90 0
YDI for not recognizing your parent's home or cell phone number.
PaoliPlz 0
Alright, it does suck, but c'mon, you have to admit that it's funny.
honey_bee_fml 1
That is awesome! Of course you can be a little annoyed-- but, come on, that's funny. It's cool that your mom has a sense of humor. :)
Kagofire 0
Thats hilarious
TruleighSadistic 0
haha well they say mother knows best..
xbbyitachilover 0
lol. that is sad. XD
tothetest300 0
Hahahahaha! i love this. your mum is the best!
Heart_FML 0
today i pasted this to my friend, and he thought i was talking about myself FML
lefkowitz 0
YDI lol
Sniper3000 0
u dont know ur moms #?
RebeccaWvvv 0
Fake! How could you not know your own mom's phone number?? Lying ass.