Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had left the house without her cell phone. I called her phone to let her know she forgot it. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML
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Top comments
Laelfy 0
Wouldnt you know your moms number??
MrMaD_fml 2
LMMFAO... ..now that's funny! My first favorite!
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Comments (122)
dudemanbro7 0
wait if you called your mom's number wouldnt you have seen it was hers if you had a cell??? just saying pretty fuggin funny tho.
IndigoFuckYou 9
^This.
purplepillow98 0
haha!!! that's a good one.
Roxysurf7 1
you didn't recognize your moms number?
aztaroth_fml_fml 0
your life truly sucks hahahahaha
akvandervort 21
You don't know your mom's phone number? You kind of deserve it for being dumb.
dollFehn 6
and u didn't recognize it was ur moms number lol fail
themayoking777 1
I think your cute! 3215436194
desertpunk75 11
Your moms a bitch! FYL
superben37 1
you domt recognize ur moms number? wow