Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML
Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML
Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML
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Top comments
mathsponge 0
GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid
F___M__L 0
lmfao nice
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Comments (66)
RubixMonkey 0
That is what you get for being a slobbery kisser.
Ninjaface 0
I'm not surprised at this FML. Most mammals have a lot in common psychologically, so a lot of the techniques that work on, say, dogs can be easily adapted to humans.
skybeau 0
I totally agree with you. I'm a dog trainer, and I often use these techniques on people or other species of animals (e.g. horses and cows). Just about any animal that is psychologically wired to live in a group will respond to these kind of techniques. It's not about holding up a bit of food and telling the person to sit, it's mostly body language to show that you're dominant and that the other person should do what you say
dspadres 0
What, does she offer the dogs sex in exchange for them to roll over and fetch too?
sublime93 0
This is like the one about Super Nanny. Laaaame either way.
themaintroll 0
YDI for trying to catch salmon with your bare hands and without using fake fish bait
gonzolove 0
This is so random. I love it.
MysticCeltic 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=322
aberfrog5 0
hmm. didn't i just read one like this two days ago?! :P
Zeroiswin 0
YDI for being a dog
cheetahboo2010 5
Here you go boy, here's a nice doggy treat for learning you act like a dog. :)
Dragonmouth 4
This sounds suspiciously like that Super Nanny FML from a few days ago.