Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I leaned in to pet what I thought was a very realistic dog statue outside a café. It was a real dog. I startled it, screamed, spilled my coffee on myself, and the dog judged me. Loudly. FML
Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML
Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML
Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML
Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
He saw a human and acted like a statue so he wouldn't be disturbed! Clever boy!:D
ScaughtieHolden 11
Because every dog that isn't a statue will attack people...
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Comments (33)
KatieEvelyn 6
It definitely could have been worse. What happened? A scraped knee? At least you still have your jugular vein.
jetsown08 21
And the vast majority of the rest of his body, too.
WhisperSoflty 20
Because all big dogs are horribly vicious and are just waiting to eat your throat, right? Please. Go educate yourself.
eaglerob 20
Take a happy pill. I love dogs, but it's called fml, not f everyone else's life.
buddy51 23
Get up, staunch the bleeding, and say "I meant to do that!".... You'll feel better about yourself if you do.
thefullmonty1 11
Sounds like you had a ruff day (sorry..)
jetsown08 21
Wait, you fell off your bike... in a spinning class? Am I the only one that's confused as to how that's possible?
bigbadtim 7
Don't blink.
Satoaoi 13
that's hilarious
asb818 14
23, it makes perfect sense...she saw a statue of a dog sitting in the corner of the spinning class, tried to speed up to get past it, and when the stationary bike didn't move, she hurled herself off the bike.
asb818 14
Hahaha, I just realised she is a he.
megmichelle45 3
don't worry, it happens. i'm sorry you're scared of dogs!
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
You got trolled by a statue :D Get healed soon!