Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML
Today, I was on a business trip with a coworker. We had to wait for the train, so I decided to browse a store in the train station while he waited outside. I then got a message on my phone, from my co-worker saying, "You are somewhere on this train, right?" FML
Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML
Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
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Top comments
lenasaur 0
Are you stupid? Most people all over the world understand English because its everywhere- schools, media, etc.
Dillybar 0
Some lessons are learned the hard way.
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Comments (177)
metonymy 0
In Soviet Russia, nerd pwns you!
Rajah723 0
...
awkward_turtles 1
I really don't know whether to thumb this up or down
natabeast 6
To be perfectly fair, we have two Russian exchange students who think that no one else can speak Russian. A former professor spoke fluent Russian and all those two ever did was talk bad about people. When you think you've got the upper hand, you tend to use it. It's like my boyfriend's family speaking Tagalog. They could be talking bad about me for all I know..
wordgirl 0
Oh, you are so rude. I HATE people who are so crude as to talk about others AT ALL, much less right in front of them. Proud of yourself? I hope the embarrassment did some good.
mileycyruslvrrrr 0
i think it's time to learn something. shut your ******* face uncle fucka you're a boner biting bastard uncle fucka you're an uncle ******, i must say we ****** your uncle yesterday! keep that in mind. poor man. 8[
Jennydew 0
YDIBITCHES, I know California isn't a country you ass hat. I forgot to put USA at the end, an honest mistake. Why don't you be a Nazi somewhere else.
djb23 0
actually, the majority of people in big cities (i.e. Moscow, St. Petersburg, etc) speak some form of english in addition to russian. This is especially true for younger people (16-25 year olds.) Just a byproduct of growing up in the Myspace era...
hellomynamekeyes 0
You should have used Chinese.
Naufrage_fml 0
This is so arrogant of you. Typical. YDI big times.
alijacket 0
That's what you get for being an immature, dumb ****.
Nissi 17
YDI asshole.