Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
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Top comments
Icyghost17 10
I suggest you start throwing tantrums, refusing to eat your veggies, and demanding bedtime stories. If you can't beat em, join em!
MasterGamer591 13
Talk to her like she is an old lady DO YOU UNDER....STAAAAAAAND miss
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Comments (164)
Rossee 3
Awwww :P
CrissyyyS2 22
Sounds more like what a mother would do.
olgakl 8
Well thumb me down, but I totally understand the girl, my BF is behaving like a 5 year old most of the time! good idea, maybe I should start treating him like that too! :D
mfischer 17
Thumbing you down as requested.
Neonemerld 21
21, have you ever thought that your bf is just comfortable with you? Able to just mellow out an relax and have fun? Just because he acts childish around you doesn't mean he's immature. When he starts to revert to diapers and "goo goo", then start to worry.
olgakl 8
79, nope, I don't mean childish in a good way, more of tantrums and temperaments way)) you know how children are, when they lie on the floor and kick the floor if they don't like something? that's what I mean, figuratively speaking
Michaelsmith1502 4
Kinky
bach2121 13
Good for her!
pradip 26
She is trying to add some fun to ur relationship , enjoy it if she isn't weird
woainishamu 21
Please reread the FML.
missyfiona89 28
If she hits u again, tell her you'll report her for child abuse!
1dvs_bstd 41
ahhh the good ol' wooden spoon.
algdfamily 7
I say YDI for putting up with it.... If your a grown man act like it and tell her to respect you .
Levvy 22
Would you be saying the same thing if the genders in this situation were reversed? No? So, tell us what it's like living with such massive hypocrisy that it needs its own bedroom.
brian_b005 3
Or that could be some kinky ish your wife is into
FMLoverAgain 7
I want to be with you Mister Sir