Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML
Today, I picked my sister up from the hospital. Apparently, she got into it with some guy who “didn’t look disabled” for parking in a handicapped spot and laid under his tires to stop him from leaving. He didn’t realize and ran her over. Now I have to listen to her bitch and moan about it. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, I was sitting on my younger sister's bed while I was on my phone. She came in the room and pushed me off the bed, and I ended up slicing the skin under my eye. Now, my parents are forcing me to pay for the injury for "hanging off the bed". FML
Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML
Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
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Top comments
Maddy121 0
Refuse to do it! And put a LOT of bleach in your sisters shampoo to make her hair get ruined :)
jay4who7 0
that's messed up I'd take it to court u would win for sure :)
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Comments (113)
hnz 13
this is what my siblings will do..! but don't pay her, dent her car more
QWERTYCommander 5
Your sister needs help.
SONiC79 0
take a shit in the airfilter
aronamanora 0
rofl
truth215 0
someone played gta 4 lol
theboldshadow 11
genius
SixDeuce 0
Refuse to pay, simple as that.
molil_4810 0
hmmmmm they like your sis beta!
perdix 31
You shouldn't have hooked her on the line calls. Cheaters deserve to die.
teamholcombe 0
Women have no business driving. there is no road from the bedroom to the kitchen.
anonymous1109 4
I hope you're reminded of this when you're in desperate need of going to the hospital and the only person available to drive you, is a woman; whether it be mom, sister, gf/wife or a female emt.
hahaalolz 0
that's old
teamholcombe 0
#33 I tell that joke because my wife likes it. #34. So are women's rights.
aronamanora 0
lol.
NinjaFood 13
Really hoping this is a troll...
amernausia 0
your parents are stupid.
1kings67 0
guaranteed op exaggerated this her sister was probably going to just drive away and he had a little temper tantrum
mrahhhhh 21
OP did you know that if you mix Nair with your sister's shampoo the results are hilarious, fulfilling revenge? Just be sure to get a safe distance away from her and your parents for a while.