Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML
Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML
Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML
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Top comments
MissGrinch 4
54 and 63, respect other languages please! 1, if you must speak in Spanish, there is a Spanish version of FML for your convenience.
ellice17 3
that snot good for your hair :/
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Comments (141)
PacoIsATaco 0
your a cochino(nasty)!
jakii_ 0
yase. que asco el del OP
ATL_chris 6
that's when you go home. done for the day
CockSneeze 2
hah
PacoIsATaco 0
-.- Mira hijo de puta mejor callate o me voy a tener que cagar en tu Cara! Enough said.
20waffleater10 0
Look son of a bitch better shut up or I'll have to shit on your face!.......since you were to much of a pussy to type it in english that is what you said! Learn english please.. thank you!
jakii_ 0
paco i love you. hope you commnt doesnt get moderated like mine did. just 'cayse we're PAISAS
MissGrinch 4
54 and 63, respect other languages please! 1, if you must speak in Spanish, there is a Spanish version of FML for your convenience.
jakii_ 0
escuse my spelling errors. your* comments* 'cause*
20waffleater10 0
I have nothing agains his language it's just if your going to be rude and cuss someone out please be a man about it and do it so they can read it.
jakii_ 0
but it's funnier in spanish
PacoIsATaco 0
si everythings funnier in spanish. :)
sam_08_fml 0
Awebo cabrones
iPedobear 0
No me gusta Spanish! (I don't like Spanish!)
20waffleater10 0
Granted it is but I translated it so he could read what #56 said.
jakii_ 0
a webo of course ^.^
sam_08_fml 0
its "no me gusta Espanol" if your going to try and speak our language at least do it right
PacoIsATaco 0
buen dicho! haha
PacoIsATaco 0
Dang it. I meant *bien* -_-
jakii_ 0
si. que mamones son xD
1personinthiswor 0
I was going to be all po'ed about this, but then I remembered that I swear in Japanese, Spanish, and Italian all the time. haha You're right, it is funnier.
priscilla_28 5
Ugh, man that is nasty! You should of just raised your other hand and excused yourself to the laidies room. Would of been a whole lot less of an FML.
EffinAhole 0
pinga loca!
Bartimaeus 7
that blows.... heheh... no? whatever. fyl blahblahblah... g'night.
priscilla_28 5
@PacoIsATaco, I think you've been watching too much George Lopez. :) Wachaaa...
xpainx 1
you deserve it for having a Jew nose Jews always sneeze like that because of their huge noses and you lied about sneezing too Jews lie all the time because they have huge Jew nose like pinnochio you disgusting lying jew
clarissa_Gyall 0
dayummmm that's nasty
flashback.miss 28
ewwwww slime(booger), anyone? lol
breenarae25 0
WTF is up with your profile pic?? werid and creepy
tdotgirl1 0
nice pic :P 0_0
EffinAhole 0
agreed... however yours is kinda weird and creepy too
breenarae25 0
who's? mine?
Mad_Boy1321 0
i hate when that happens ..jk thats nastyyy use a napkin or sumthing.
Patrickkkkk 0
something*
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Nasty. And third
boojie97 12
yep. five is the new third.
jakii_ 0
everyone's comments are being either deleted or moderated especially mine FML
Cinn_fml 23
It tends to be because of breaking rules or claiming to be a number, such as shouting first. Your comment (#8 on this comment page) got moderated due to it not being in English...
jakii_ 0
ahh i see. lol it wasn't even anything that bad. thanks cinn!
Cinn_fml 23
It's alright, though normally you get asked to keep it in English if you get moderated for not doing.
jakii_ 0
si gracias
cufaoil 11
I've had a number of my posts today just disappear.... anyway.... OP, bless you!
Freeze_fml 17
It's not racist. It's annoying if we can't understand the comment because it's in a different language. lik wen ppl tipe lik diz.
Rachel_fml 20
Exactly as Freeze said. We want people to speak English because FML is an English site and we want everyone understood.
HahaHokayThen 10
Hair gel? Shouldve said it was a "Mike the Situation" costume.
Big_Aus 0
lol
xshadyshadow 0
She could have also said that her boyfriend (or hookup) missed her face. xD
blackintensity 7
ahaha more like pauly d
glambert1998 0
lmao!!!!!!!!
perdix 31
Did you see "There's Something About Mary?"
Mirelly13 6
OMG!! I thought of the same exact thing when I read the FML hahhahahahah
fuff_fml 4
ahaha! oh is that gel I need some. hahaha
UnluckyChicka 0
lol ikr?!?! I was starting to wonder if anyone else made that connection too!
tookietookie123 5
hahaha
driftability 0
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Well... FYL for having a big enough nose to produce such a booger.
Cinn_fml 23
How'd you not get it out of your hair? I mean, tissues normally work, and you could always have used loo-paper if you didn't have any on you... Or you could've used your sleeve.
Cinn_fml 23
....?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Who says that?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Who says that?
Cinn_fml 23
Cinn says that. :P Plus what Ignorance said. It's a completely normal and valid word, just maybe only here in the UK, I dunno. I figured it was universal.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I know, just sounds weird to my ignorant American mind.
jakii_ 0
we say Toilet Paper. but i'm saying loo-paper from now on go cinn!!
20waffleater10 0
Loo-paper sounds way better!!!!!!
20waffleater10 0
and yes loo-paper is not universal I had no clue what you guys and girls were talking about until someone typed toilet paper.
iPedobear 0
Let's just call it paper?!?
jakii_ 0
just "paper" is too vague
20waffleater10 0
Yea, i agree with #55.....Way to vague. There is construction paper, tissue paper (the kind you sitck in bags for gifts), wrapping paper, paper mache, college ruled paper, wide ruled paper, computer paper, scented paper, wall paper....am i missing any?
Cinn_fml 23
Jakii is right, and Fawlty Towers has already proved that just saying paper can lead to misunderstandings... So if you didn't know what I meant by loo-paper, Waffleater, does that mean you don't use the word loo either?
nycy 0
What? I wipe my ass with paper all the time
iPedobear 0
You forgot graph paper!!!! How could you?! D:
bludragon486 0
I am now forever calling it loo-paper!
20waffleater10 0
Cinn...yes i have never used or heard the word loo-paper untill today. I have heard and used the word loo though...but only a couple of times. iPedobear...I am sorry I forgot graph paper.
cufaoil 11
us Paddies use it too we often refer to it as loo-roll, as well
Schizomaniac 24
#40: who*
jakii_ 0
loo-roll? i call it "papel de baño" xD
cufaoil 11
yes... loo-roll.... like kitchen roll.... only, for the loo...
Schizomaniac 24
Ignorance, we've been over this. Now take the correction for what it is and strive to better. The conversation ends now.
iPedobear 0
#73, shouldn't it be *whom?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Cinn "figured it was universal". Nothing against her but you can't call me a disgrace for pointing out a word I'd never heard and act like her assumption that everyone knows it is perfectly fine.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Are you being serious, i_iz? Because that's some pretty faulty logic right there...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I never said I didn't know what the word was; it's pretty obvious. But assuming people should know something they've never heard of is just as ignorant as my finding the word interesting. Or maybe not... I'm not exactly a genius.
my2centsworth 15
No, it should be "who".
jose1760 1
WTF- cinn-ball-face??? loo-paper!??? you make me want to punch Mexican babies in the face.
Cinn_fml 23
I_iz - When I said I figued it was universal, I meant that I thought everyone knew what 'loo' and 'paper' meant and so if I put the two together they'd know what I meant. I know not all terms are universal, I've had a few epic conversations about that.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
My point was that when you come across a word you don't know, it's your responsibility to figure it out, or find the meaning of it. It's not the speaker's responsibility to only speak in words you know. What Cinn did and what you did are two very different things, and thus can't be compared.
zp5 4
thats some good hair gel you use there!