Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
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Top comments
Yazoo77 16
Should have turned back and threw her off the slide
FYLTHOUGH 15
should have kicked her back
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Comments (89)
Apollo_Smoke 14
Sounds very American.
MMA_BJJ_Krav 11
Wouldn't or couldn't move..?
Mr_Guy_Dude 17
Those kids must be strong to hold you and the fat lady while she was kicking you.
psychopolarbear 28
Seriously. Kicking at someone's spine doesn't seem like a great idea. I'm no Doc Bastard, but I'm pretty sure you can give someone a spinal injury that way.
hopenk3 5
That happens at this leisure centre place that has a huge pool area, in a tunnel part these dumb ass kids block the slide and there have already been broken bones they won't stop
elagabal 17
Simpsons did it.
joshi42 16
"big-boned" as in "fat cow"?
hegchog12 18
I think that's offensive to cows. Elephant seal or giant walrus are a lot more suitable.
alex_gen 39
I can only imagine that one by one, more people come down behind you four, and by the end you have like 15 people all exiting the water slide at the same time.
CandyApple88 13
"Big boned" people are always so vile to other people! Should have turned around and hit her. Also definitely talk to the staff there saying that she was kicking you. If it was in the USA, just sue the fat woman for spinal damage (over acting during court encouraged)
Lilkat39 5
Too bad you couldn't kick the dumb kids in the head. Hard. And then punch the angry fat pig who was kicking you from behind. It probably would have been very satisfying.