Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom was out of the house, so I decided to make her a gift. I went into the garage for supplies and somehow ended up locking myself in for the next 2 hours. Not only that, but I cut my hand with the rusty paperclip I used to try to pick the lock. FML
Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML
Today, I went into the basement to do laundry. There is a little rope on the outside of the door to lock it. I was down there for 20 minutes, and came back up the stairs to find it locked. Turns out, my 3 year-old sister did it, then our parents took her to the park. I was stuck down there for 4 hours. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML
Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML
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Top comments
Dean__Winchester 16
1. That's messed up 2. Google how to escape
1dvs_bstd 41
Some parents... how the **** are you supposed to know the problem? how in the blue hell are you supposed to fix it? She wants to turn you into an emergency plumber?.. wickedness. At least did she give you a 3D printer to print out the required tools?
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Comments (142)
sarah2453 17
You should call someone to do the job for you and then when they show up to fix it your mom will look stupid and have to let you out? Just a thought I think paying for them would be worth your psycho mom locking you up to do something that people are trained to do, and oh wow! It's their job!
Weiss_Schnee 14
Kick the door down and/or call the police.
Sheepalicious 20
Assuming you're under age, thats child abuse. If not, its still abuse.
bzskittle 4
call the cops tf?? that's a very high class felony
chikinscratch00 8
lol. Horrible.
joeblow6969 5
Encouraging you to be able to fix things around the house is one thing... but hot water heater? Yeah thats not dangerous or anything. What a crazy bitch...
nathan12_fml 2
Child abuse?
thenielsens 12
I would have dialed 911. "911 what's your emergency? Ya my mom is a crazy ass hoe who locked me in a hole..
gozie11 11
all I can say, SORRY BRO!
thenewgirl29 20
I work a company that does this, you would need tools and new parts. Use your phone to call 911 if she doesn't let you out soon.