Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom was out of the house, so I decided to make her a gift. I went into the garage for supplies and somehow ended up locking myself in for the next 2 hours. Not only that, but I cut my hand with the rusty paperclip I used to try to pick the lock. FML
Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML
Today, I went into the basement to do laundry. There is a little rope on the outside of the door to lock it. I was down there for 20 minutes, and came back up the stairs to find it locked. Turns out, my 3 year-old sister did it, then our parents took her to the park. I was stuck down there for 4 hours. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML
Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML
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Top comments
Dean__Winchester 16
1. That's messed up 2. Google how to escape
1dvs_bstd 41
Some parents... how the **** are you supposed to know the problem? how in the blue hell are you supposed to fix it? She wants to turn you into an emergency plumber?.. wickedness. At least did she give you a 3D printer to print out the required tools?
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Comments (142)
HeWillBeLoved105 22
What are you wasting your battery for on FML? Google that shit.
big_lil_wane 14
You should use that phone to call the police to come get you out
TabooSushi 24
I hope you called the cops, and plan to move out ASAP. I don't care if you're under 18, find someone to stay with and get the hell out of that house until your mother seeks mental care.
mwali02 32
1) Call the police. 2) While you are stuck living at their house, start googling options for apartments and other living arrangements. 3) Move out ASAP. You can deal with debt and odd roommates later, but abuse is abuse, and you need to get out of there ASAP.
dcats 13
Tough love, you will succeed op
Vampirickitty 10
That's not tough love, that's unlawful confinement which is a serious felony
Randen_FML95 9
Your mom doesn't deserve to be a parent.
middlenamefrank 8
Even if you were a handy type of person, how are you supposed to fix anything when you're locked in the basement, without access to the tools and/or parts and materials you're going to need?
danm_1 28
It would seem that your mom is the one who needs fixing. hope you managed to get out
faifai_fml 21
I am sorry. I am so sorry. I had a mother like that too. As soon as you're old enough, get out, keep running, and don't look back. Remember that she's mentally ill, and remember that YOU decide what kind of person you will be, and that you don't need to learn the lessons that she's trying to teach you. Finally, please get help (psychological/psychiatric) if you find that you're turning into the same person. There is no shame in asking for help.
Awesumous_ 5
Duuuude, this is illigal!!! Call CPS, or something!!!