Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about buttfucking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible and posted on Facebook about how I was stressed out and feeling really lonely. My sister replied saying "#fatfuckproblems". 13 people liked it and some so-called friends posted stuff like "rekt" and "SLAYED, bitch!", all in less than a minute. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML
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Top comments
grayeyedmarine 14
what what in the butt
lilhellian 27
Butt **** here, butt **** there, butt **** everywhere!
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Comments (74)
grayeyedmarine 14
what what in the butt
adam3650 12
Do me in my butt, in my butt.
StalkerChick 13
Wanna do it in my butt, in my butt? Let's do it in the butt. Oh yeahhhh
aruam365 24
Wonder if she was singing this and OP just hadn't ever heard it before or if she actually made a new song? Anyways OP, trust me this isn't anything. Patients do incredibly bizarre things and it honestly as bad as this sounds, it makes our shifts far more entertaining. Only other patients will even remember this by tomorrow. Hospital staff hear and see so many things that unless it's brought up, they most likely aren't going to think about it again. In 10 years, probably sooner, this is going to be something you and your sister will laugh to the point of tears over! :)
\ 28
Let's do it in the butt. O... K... (no ****)
Success4444 12
With op's name, I keep thinking "glow little glow worm, glimmer, glimmer."
EVnIAS 13
It's okay, if you have a little fight. Don't you worry I won't bite not that hard. If you want it, I'll give you power. Just be gentle, I'm delicate like a flower.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Yeah let me do it in your but but.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You know way too much of that song 74..
EVnIAS 13
but #79 if I didn't know it I would have never been able to comment so the hours of hearing it paid off!
tiptoppc 21
Do, do, do… do, do, do , do, do, do.. do, do, do me in the bathroom stall…
lilhellian 27
Butt **** here, butt **** there, butt **** everywhere!
martin_martian7 11
What what in the butt
martin_martian7 11
Damn it #1 beat me to it! Lol
ColdplaySucks 18
Missed it by seconds...
Ambient25 25
I think this is more of an FML for her sister....
license2chill 5
Maybe OP's sister was tripping because of the medication. If that's the case, she wouldn't give a damn anyway.
Zyzz7 12
Now everyone knows she likes it in the ass.... nothing wrong with that i s'pose.
karlcolt45 19
sounds like a win more than a FML
Mads_1234 28
With a butt **** here, a butt **** there, here a **** there a **** everywhere a butt ****... Old McButtfuck had a farm eeieeioh!
adam3650 12
I believe the word you're looking for is brothel...
stevothedevo 25
Sounds like a country song..
limitedition 25
How many guys gave her their phone numbers?
HortonThelephant 15
Sounds like she's singing from experience..
annie_nk 23
I'd get my camera out and record it! It sounds hilarious.
zaylazayn 12
Exactly what'd I do
ShakeDisPlace 10
well, I was gonna tell a gay joke butt **** it
BlowinChronic 18
Cum on guys, gay jokes aren't funny anymore.
Ozuru 11
You guys are being asses, stop.