Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and like every month, my husband goes through the wastebasket and checks my used pads for proof that I’m not lying about being on my period to get out of sex, all because once, I didn’t feel like having sex and said I was on my period, even though I wasn’t. He found out I lied because he saw my clean pad. FML
Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, I'm on my period and super bloated. My husband laid down next to me and said, "Hey pretty lady, wanna have a good time? Let me stick my pin in and let some of that air out", then made a deflating noise with a hand movement. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
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Top comments
happle 21
That's pretty nasty, but it seems like he would have learned his lesson.
Misshhh 23
Looks like he was caught.. Red handed... YEEEAAAAA xD
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Comments (187)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
ewww
pdp_fml 21
He was thinking with his other head!
mattrd_fml 31
bloody hell
gabagabaheyu 10
thats what he gets
Khaleesixx 1
I can understand it being uncomfortable but I don't understand the huge deal about having sex on your period, sure if you don't want a mess than it probably won't be your cup of tea but I would really call this more of a funny situation more than a fml one. You guys are married!is it really an issue
Djasso18 15
time to let him earn his "red wings"
lalaney 14
Sticking your hand down someone's pants without permission, even if you're married, is usually not okay. Unless your partner has explicitly said that they like getting surprised groped, it's a violation.
TogeBara 12
You have got to be kidding me...a smack on the ass is considered groping, but it is flirty and fun for couples to do that stuff. You must be a major stick-in-the-mud. I'd hate to be your SO.
glitterkuro 18
Agreed. A lot of people do not like being touched without prior warning. It's not being a "stick-in-the-mud", it can be a complete turn off or quite upsetting for some people. Hopefully as they're married, they know all these sorts of things about each other, but since he stuck his hand there even though she specifically said she was on her period, I'm guessing he's not the best at listening and respecting boundaries. Not all couples are the same, #170.
mageepaigeee44 15
Is it really that bad? He's your husband.. I wouldn't even think twice if my boyfriend accidentally did this to me. I don't see how this is an FML.
TheAngryPrincess 3
.... SURPRISE!
PlapGamer 4
Guess he just got caught.. Red-handed! (Badum-tsh)