Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML
Today, I woke up and got out of my room to find two pit bulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML
Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML
Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML
Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML
Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
It ripped through the fabric?? Is your pup a damn wolverine? lol
1337chick 4
Turn the cushions over! :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (211)
sourgirl101 29
You explaining that was priceless! Thanks.
MC_Telepathy 0
she should serious kill the dog
missy327 0
maybe the dog didn't like the couches and decided to take matters into his own hands (paws)
bloobelly 0
that bitch!
rawrcookiemonste 5
that actually really sux!..
Skroal_stomper 5
last line should have been Having to tell your husband you effed up the brand new couch. priceless.
skittlebabe 0
it was like that when I came back!!
lovesteph3523 0
And that is why i don't like pets:)
lolasolis 0
that's when you flip the Cushin
like_its_ya_bday 0
o crap... that honestly sucks. fyl