Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML
Today, I woke up and got out of my room to find two pit bulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML
Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML
Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML
Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML
Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
It ripped through the fabric?? Is your pup a damn wolverine? lol
1337chick 4
Turn the cushions over! :)
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Comments (211)
WTFreversed 5
I don't think there would be any crocs at the beach were you at the beach? is there alot of crocs in America?
skyeyez9 25
Guys who keep posting 'women belong in the kitchen' coments: Never piss off someone who will be handling and preparing your food, unless you dont mind eating food mixed with dead spiders, spit, snot, cat shit from the litter box, antifreeze...etc
NightGod 0
That's why you don't eat anything she won't, and occasionally switch plates unexpectedly. It's an easy problem to solve.
Hot_Guy_And_You 0
ha
ashleybitch1029 0
that sucks dude. FYL. but,you should def. tell your husband what happened.
TheHappyOne 0
#63 you have pretty eyes.(: my eyes are just brown /: plain old brown
TheHappyOne 0
and op. to solve this problem you can get your hands cut off(: then you'll never have to worry about "picking" your dog up
hd9280 0
#24 has a point.... Filipino's eat them!! feed em to the husband!! lol.
onebadsummer 0
Today I dragged my undisciplined dog across the brand new couch, instead of lifting it up and safely away from the fresh, pristine upholstery.
DineshKarthikesu 0
Blame it on the milkman... oh wai-
Vik364 0
psh that dog would be dead if it was mine